…it really is extremely intimate even in a physical way: it’s in his room that’s the first he’s ever had and where he means to keep the precious things he’s collected in his life, and he wants to invite Cas into it. the whole prayer is presented as being half a conversation, pierced by the lack of a returning voice. and how many intimate conversations have happened between them on a bedside?
“What were you dreaming about?”
“I can’t do it, Cas. It’s too big. Alastair was right. I’m not all here. I’m not—I’m not strong enough.”
“I’m doing this for you, Dean, I’m doing this because of you.”
“Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family—that you are like a brother to me.”
“I’m afraid I might kill myself.”
sitting alone in the dim lighting on his bed that remembers him, Dean finishing the episode with “Where the hell are you?” and looking around in hope he might see Cas… (x)